I was going to run tonight, but I’ve caught another cold, so I think I will sit this one out. I haven’t fully convinced myself that I’m sitting it out yet. *denial*
Been worried about my friend and her fiance. Her fiance is on life support right now. I’m hoping with all my heart he pulls through.
These past few years have been difficult. We’ve lost a lot of good friends and family members. Death sometimes feels so close. Too close.
The only thing I can do at this point is love on the people around me and be thankful for the life that I have. And maybe live my life a little more, a little harder, in honor of those that can’t.
And on that note, I think I’ve made up my mind about the run. Laters.
My husband is turning 40 in June, so I decided to take him on a vacation to celebrate.
We are going to Rome and Florence this June!!!
I have traveled abroad a few times — France, England, Russia, Uzbekistan, Finland… but my husband hasn’t traveled out of the country… EVER. (I don’t count Mexico.)
He was beyond BEYOND B-E-Y-O-N-D excited when he found out about the trip. And surprised, because I am a money saver, not a money spender, and certainly not a BIG MONEY spender!!!
But this was the right thing to do.
It’s a ton of work — but I already purchased the airline tickets and booked the hotels. I’ve researched and made a flexible schedule (with the exception of the opera that I booked for Florence). I’m working on updating our passports and sorting out how to convert money.
I also researched which are the best running routes in both cities.
Oh, this was a tough one. I’m back to pushing past my comfort zone, getting back my mental toughness. It’s hard and it’s awesome.
I don’t think I’ve mentioned it yet, but my husband mentioned that he wanted to train for a marathon. He asked me to put together a training schedule and so I wrote out a six-month program for him to follow.
Tonight, as I was fading fast, I reminded myself that I will never make progress until I get past being comfortable. I also reminded myself that I need to set a good example, because if I start skipping workouts or shaving off a mile here and there, it may affect his training, as well. Laziness is contagious.
And so, I sit here, so tired I could lay my head on this desk and fall asleep instantly. I love it.
The first three miles were difficult.
The next two were a privilege.
The last one I had to fight for.
Easy miles, hard as hell miles, painful miles, swift miles, slow-as-a-crawl miles, pop-it-and-lock-it miles, rushing-up-on-people’s-left-side-and-screaming-“NINJA!”-when-they-aren’t-suspecting-it-miles, pushing-harder-to-show-off-in-front-of-people-you-know-miles, paying-for-your-vanity miles, the-mental-fight-to-keep-going miles, blurred miles (what-the-hell-was-I-thinking-those-last-few-miles-apparently-not-much)…
So many different kinds of miles, but one thing in common:
All good miles. Good, because they are finished.
I haven’t run in over a week. Well, I did run to the bank to pick up cash for my son’s book fair (literally, ran to the bank and back) but it was only two miles. That doesn’t count.
After I witnessed my grandfather pass away (and drove a total of 8 hours), I went to work the next day. I may have been pushing too hard, trying to be too strong, because my body totally broke down and I got sick.
But I still went to work the rest of the week.
I still did hard labor in my backyard all last weekend.
Back to work this week, even though I am still sick, and now I have a sinus infection.
Saw pictures of my grandfather’s military funeral services today and I lost it, at work. Pulled myself together and went to a lunch meeting.
I keep pushing, and it all just keeps getting worse.
Since when did I become such a grown-up, that I don’t even allow myself time to grieve? To take off time from work when I’m sick?
What am I doing?
I don’t know.