I am not very social. The words “we should hang out together” come out of my mouth about as much as “I can’t wait to go shopping!”. That would be, NEVER.
If our lives happen to cross paths, though, I am very nice and funny. On a daily basis, I get along with most people very well. People open up to me often, share things…
But that is where I draw the line. I see my handful of childhood friends during the holidays, because, let’s face it, they are more like family than friends, and I do go the extra mile to be around my family. But new friends, not so much.
Perhaps it’s due to the spanking I took last year with a new work friendship I had made that went about as bad as possible, for reasons still unknown to me. Or maybe it’s because every new person I meet seems to think we can bond by tearing someone else apart… that is so high school, people. It’s all I can do to stop myself from participating, because it’s so easy to be nasty, and so much more difficult to be… nice… all the time.
But I want to be nice, and I want to be drama-free, so I live a relatively anti-social life.
But on occasion, I get asked to do something, and when I decline, I feel just plain fucking awful.
Such an occasion came up last Friday.
My boss asked me to go to his daughter’s birthday party and put me on the spot. I joked with him, saying, “You know how anti-social we are!” He knows I avoid these things, and so does my husband. We just don’t like to do these things, plain and simple. I also do not want to “bond” with him and his family. I like things the way they are - no overlapping between personal and work lives.
But I’m sure I came off like an ass, and he got the message that we won’t go b/c I don’t want to go, and my husband doesn’t want to go.
This has bothered me all weekend, way more than it’s worth. I just wonder why some people have that gene that makes them want to be invited to parties, and why some don’t. Because not having that gene makes me feel like I got an “ass” gene instead.
I’m becoming more focused in my runs, hence the lack of photographs. I’m pleased to have my focus back. I can lose time and distance without thinking about anything.
sit ups from Hell and 45 minutes on the stationary bike — yesterday.
I was already super sore first thing this morning. Ahhh… I like being sore, it means I’m pushing myself.
A night of rest after a stressful week.
And tomorrow, I run.